Carol,
Thinking about you. I think the key thing you said was you didn't want to be there for his snide remarks. Just remember that when you feel weak. Do you want someone in your life who will make snide remarks or someone who will speak to you with love?

Carol, I just came across this thread. Sending you ((((hugs)))) and prayers. I sense you getting stronger day by day, and your DD is a gem.

God bless you as you work through this difficult time.

I am sorry I missed everything that was going on Carol. I was in a verbally/emotionally abusive relationship a few years ago and walking away was both the best and most difficult things I have ever done. Prayers and hugs. You are amazing!

july
keep up w errands
go out to dinner at least once/week this month
hold bj's shopping to once this momth
play cards at rec center at least once this month

clean 3 days/week and do 3 cleaning steps each of those days
do p* (procrastination) projects once/week
forgot to add :

work on reading my book of short stories

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sorry i haven't been posting

i got c/uon my errands fri....pharmacy, grocery, bank and had 2 appt's earlier in the week, so i feel like i spent a lot of time away from the house. i also went out to dinner thu night - mike had fried cod fish and fries and i had chicken parmesan over ziti cooked in tomato sauce

i STILL haven't made it to play bridge

i spent sat doing 3 cleaning b/s and plan to to 3 more sun (then the reg cleaning will be done. mon i intend to do my 'something extra' in the way of cleaning

i worked on my knitting 2x this week. 12 rows the 1st day then another 5 rows

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carol, remember to stay strong. you won't find a better man while this 1 is still in the picture, so you gotta make it a clean break

mary

Thank you so much everyone!

I just returned home from my day at the library in the big city and he's still here. Ain't he gonna be surprised when I suspend the TV service tomorrow?!?!

I know it will be harder without DD there to support you, but keep strong Carol you can do this!

Carol
Hoping this is all over. Due to the flash floods and storms here, I lost my connection all day yesterday. Am glad to be back and learn that he started moving out, and you and DD "raised the veil" and enjoyed the beauty of God's nature.
What a wonderful way to celebrate your freedom!

Diana...Sorry to hear that you are suffering through the wild weather. Hope that you stay safe!

Unfortunately, it is not all over yet. It is actually getting worse and very difficult. DD is with her dad right now so R is taking advantage of her not being there to play on my emotions.

Last night R asked me to go to Catalina with him on Tuesday as we had originally planned so that we can relax and think about things. He asked me to give him my answer in the morning.

He says that I should know him by now and that when he is mad he says things that he doesn't really mean. He even told me that his counselor couldn't believe how I was acting, and other people that he has talked to said I was being childish by having my daughter answer his question truthfully and not stepping in to protect him from her words.

This morning, he came in and woke me up to get my answer. UGH! Anyway, to make a very long story short, I told him no. He also wanted to know if he could leave his clothes until he got back because he didn't want to put them in storage and have bugs get in them. I told him no, he needed to move them before he leaves with the reasoning that it would be easier for him to not have to return to the house when he gets back. He also wanted to know if we could just date when he gets back. He would not give me time to think about it so I told him no. There of course was more to it, including a phone message left on my phone that he hopes that we don't run into each other in this small town and see something that we don't want to see. How hurtful! And, that's love? "Love" does not hurt on purpose.

It's going to be a tough night with him there and a tough morning tomorrow until he is gone. I'd love to stay in a hotel tonight so that I don't have to deal with being in the same house with him. But, it's summer and the rates around here are outrageous. I need to watch every single penny right now so that I can pay the rent when Aug 1st gets here.

I'm tired of crying and being strong and crying and being strong and.........I wish there were a little pill to take to make it all go away or maybe a yummy type of ice cream that would make it all better. But, I can't go around it, I can't go over it, I can't go under it, I've got to go through it. That's from a song I learned in my childhood at summer camp and it just came to my mind right now about this situation. When I start becoming weak, I can feel the power of the prayers that are going up for DD and I.

Thank you everyone!

Carol - Lots of prayers going your way! I am certain that anyone with any sense would not expect you to protect him from your daughters words.He asked the questions he did not like the answers TOUGH! That's what happens when you do not treat people right eventually you have to face up to the consequences. Besides your first priority is to protect your child not any man, which is what you are doing by getting you both out of the situation.

I knew he would try and manipulate you while DD was not there I mentioned before I survived a master manipulator and sadly know all the games they play. Stay strong you can do this its only for a while longer! I am off to bed now and I will include you in my nightly prayers. Much love, hugs and prayers from England.

Karen x

Ps Having done it myself I know you can do it! Although it hurts now think of all the future heartache you are saving yourself (and DD!) by staying strong now. I so wish I could wave a wand and fast forward you a few weeks, but all I can do is keep cheering you on. I hope it is helping even a little

Prayers to give you strength to continue disengaging from arrogant, manipulative R, coming your way from W Canada. His behavior today makes it clear that he is merely concerned with his needs/wishes and will say and do whatever he feels will get the results he wants.

If you have time, you might find it enlightening to look at Branson's books 'Coping Effectively with Difficult People.' It not only identifies 'types' like R but offers coping suggestions.