I am tired just reading your list of goals! Goodness woman, breathe!!!!!!!!!!

I'm just popping in for a second because I wanted to let my GONer friends know this.

There is not going to be a wedding for me next week. God has given me an answer loud and clear and I have given the rings back. I can't go into all the details specifically, but he's up to his old tricks again (even after all of the counseling). The verbal abuse is back with a vengence and I will not marry a man who treats me or my daughter badly.

He is just a very unhappy man, and until he comes to love himself, he is never going to truly be happy and stop doing these things. I know that I have done everything that I could possibly do to make it work, but I cannot change him inside. That is something he has to do for himself. It's too bad because he will lose out on having my love for a lifetime.

The next few days and weeks are going to be very hard. He already lashed out at me again yesterday, and I just had to leave the house to get away from his mouth and the cruel things that he was saying. Since the wedding was supposed to be next week, we were already living in the same house so it makes it difficult and stressful. He started packing his things last night and said that he may be out over this coming weekend. I can only hope and pray that will be true.

Now I have the difficult task of cancelling the ceremony and the hotel. I need to get myself together enough to do it without crying on the phone.

My DD turns 16 this Sunday, and my DSis is coming from Huntington Beach to help us celebrate. Also, DD's friend is here visiting from Tennessee so I have a bit of a diversion for at least a couple of days. I need to remain strong!

Oh Carol,
I'm so sorry you're going through this but bravo to you for making the hard decision now before it gets too complicated. We're here for you.

Carol: (((HUGS))) I agree with ChefSam: It was a hard decision to make, but bravo for making it before it got too complicated. Be strong. You are being a role model for DD and please wish her a happy 16th b'day from me.

I don't usually post on this one but had to add my support.

Carol - You have made an incredibly brave and difficult decision, and I agree with the others it is better to do it now before it gets complicated.

I also suffered verbal abuse from an ex and you are completely right it is his problem not yours and no matter what you do or say (believe me I tried everything)nothing will change until they accept the problem is theirs.

I am now very happily married after thinking I would never get there and a lot of heartache. So I am sending lots of prayers your way that when you are ready to start again that special man who treats you like a princess will be just around the corner.

Well done to you for realising it won't work and for being an excellent role model to your daughter. I hope you and your DD enjoy her birthday and that making the cancellation phonecalls is not too painful. Hugs to you both.

Karen

I too, am sorry that it didn't work out Carol. Happy sweet 16 to DD.

Diana: You have such a way of making a girl feel good A few of the time sensitive stuff I didn't get to so just crossed it off ~ we missed one story time b/c we didn't get home from the dentist in time. And we had company and the girls didn't want to go to math quiz or reading counts ~ not biggies...

the big thing off my list was the CPR and firstaid training the other night. I have one girl with me today, so need to find something for the two of us to do.

Carol:
(((((((HUGS))))))))) and prayers for you to have the strength to cancel what you have to do. You are stronger than you think. Look at all you have done on your own for so long. I know it is disappointing and heartbreaking, but what a wonderful decision you made for both you and DD, think of how it would be had you married him. You know my feelings from previous discussions, and am here for you in any way, You can PM me anytime.

I Cannot believe DD is turning 16!!!! WOW! We are here for you.

Maureen:
You should feel good, you do so so much!

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carol, i'm so sorry! ijust know your life will take a turn for the better w/o him

hugs

mary

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and hugs! I need all the strength I can get right now. He's already apologizing and not wanting me to cancel anything. I MUST remain strong.

On top of this, my dad was in a car accident. He totalled his truck. He blacked out and went into oncoming traffic, hit another car (totalling it as well) and then landed in a tree. Luckily, he was unharmed and the lady in the other car only hurt her knee. They both could have been killed. Guardian angels working overtime!

My dad is undergoing tests to find out what caused him to black out. He has absolutely no recollection of the accident other than waking up. They are going just on what the other driver and witnesses said. They believe he may have had a mini-stroke, but nothing definite yet.

He seems to be fine physically. My DSis is in town for DD's birthday and we all went out to dinner tonight. He's not concerned about himself, but he is just very shaken up about the whole thing because he could have killed the other lady. We are very anxious to find out what the test results reveal.

Wow! The past 24-48 hours have been something else!

{{{{Hugs}}}}and prayers sent your way Carol. We're all here to add support to your decision. Happy Birthday to DD, 16 is such a major milestone to celebrate. So glad DD is ok after such a fright; gather the family around you and take comfort from their love