I think we all occasionally get discouraged when we think of what we want to accomplish and compare it to what we actually do. And we are aware that there are only so many hours in a day, and so on. But I still get the feeling that I should be doing more.

For a long time now, I've been unemployed. Of course jobhunting can take a lot of time in various ways, but usually not as much as a full-time job, including because there is no commuting. I'm home much of the day. SO WHY AM I NOT DOING MORE?

I think I was more productive last year than this, at least with jobhunting. I not only had to do a lot to qualify for unemployment benefits (long since expired), but I think I was more optimistic then. Articles I've read more recently in the paper present a really grim picture of joblessness, with no end in sight. I'll not belabor the job worries here, although they are real, but I'm concerned about getting much of anything, very worried about my dwindling reserves, and concerned about the country as a whole. This may reduce efficiency, and certainly doesn't help me sleep at night.

One of the reasons I'm maybe doing less is that I am trying to get "enough" sleep. I look back at certain periods of my life, and wonder how I ever managed on so little. At times I was almost a zombie. At others, I could function, but hardly at peak efficiency, and expended effort just to stay awake. Nowadays I often have trouble sleeping, but attempt to be in the bed for longer so as to maximize my changes of getting at least some rest.

I'm clearly spending more time on the forum, maybe more time reading, and so forth. Real life sometimes intervenes, from trying to help DS with his jobhunting, striving to get him to do more around the house, occasionally review computer skills, etc.

I spend a lot of time on financially related things, which seems to take more time when I have less money. I wind up having to correct IRS mistakes, correct other mistakes involving occasional work, on and on.

I've spent time in the yard, but not excessive amounts. Same for most other activities, which haven't changed a lot. Seems I'm cooking less, although I should be cooking more, since I'm at home.

The point is, I haven't done any major projects. I've hardly done any minor projects. The house should be sparkling clean, and it seems less clean than it used to be when I was working; it's certainly dusty. I have stacks of papers to be filed in my tray. I have boxes of things waiting to be put somewhere, but don't know where. I feel backlogged in every possible respect.

The reason I never post things on the "Fix" is that it would take acres of space. My master to-do list is 13 pages long, and a lot of it is just lists, without any detail: "paint bedroom." My short-term list is about 20 pages long, although the list for "today" is usually not much more than a page - and I never get to everything on it. I realize the lists might be too long. BUT

I feel myself getting more and more bogged down with every passing day. I have no sense of accomplishment. For everything I cross off as having been done, much more appears. If a GONer walked into my house, she would wonder why on earth it looks the way it does, given the fair amount of uncommitted time I have, which I didn't have while working.

I'm normally pretty disciplined, and I like routines and structure. I'm good at establishing my own if something isn't already in place. But I feel as if my energy, resolve, organizational skills, and just about everything are disintegrating.

Why is this happening, and what can I do about it?

I confess that when I read job ads these days, they are intimidating. More and more is being expected of people, the the point it's unrealistic. I wonder how well I will cope if I eventually get another job. I might wind up working extra just to keep from getting fired. I'll no doubt have to pick up some new skills after having been "out of the loop" for a while. But an equally big concern is wondering how I will ever adapt to having so much less "free" time again, since I'm not using it well now.

You'd think that while I've been off, I could have done at least a few things that won't need to be done again for a while. In a previous jobless period a few years ago, I repainted the living room, among other things.

In a few cases, I've put things off because of the cost. For example, I want to have the bathroom ceiling redone. Because I've not arranged for that (an avoidable expense), I've not repainted either. And I do like to do more outdoor tasks in summer. This summer has been so hot that it's not encouraged me to do as much as I otherwise might have, and has slowed garden work, except for watering plants.

All in all, I am unhappy that I've not put this time to better use. It's the longest block of non-work time I've had since may college days, and the longest (I hope) I'll ever have again before retirement. Yet I feel it slipping through my fingers.

Any thoughts?

It's very normal to have mild to moderate, or even severe depression when dealing with extended joblessness. Some people can work through it without too much else but determination, but others need a bit more boost with getting their chemistry in a better balance. If at all possible, I would talk with a doctor regarding possible clinical depression. It's likely a short-term thing, but the changes possible are really, really huge. Even mild depression, over a length of time, gets extremely wearing for the individual!

One thing that might help is adding an outside commitment--perhaps volunteering a few hours a week for a charitable organization that serves a purpose you believe in. Getting out, getting your "oar" in with a work environment, can be extremely beneficial to kick-starting everything else. And, that volunteer work can go on a resume... it's an experience that counts. (It's also "free" networking... and many jobs come about through such contacts, so you just never know.)

Sometimes, a change is as good as a rest. If there are excess belongings that you feel are bogging you down, clear them out--sell them, or donate them, but move on it with speed and determination. Change up your routine--add an early morning wakeup daily, with a walk outside and some gardening while it's still cool. Is all that paperwork to be filed stuff that must be kept? Purging paper always makes me feel lighter, and gets me moving.

It might be worthwhile to toss the old lists. Start fresh! What things do you want to do This Week to make your life more enjoyable? Put down things like "Dance around the house to some favorite music, played nice and loud"--those things can lift your mood and give you motivation, too.

You're a clever person... don't give up on yourself! This is just a rut, and ruts are made to be gotten out of.

Simplicity: I am sure the continuing unemployment and everything related to it is making you anxious and that anxiety is probably keeping you awake at night.

Why not get up if you can't sleep and may be read or do something else and then, take a nap in the afternoon if you should feel sleepy later in the day? You'd still get your 7 or 8 hours of sleep, only in two 4 hr. segments. It might also be that your body doesn't need as much sleep as before because it is more rested since you are at home - perhaps 6 or 7 hours of sleep is all you need these days.

As for those long lists, why not revise them a bit? Why not remove the projects that may be infeasible due to cost, etc. to another list to be tackled when funds become available? I had a really long Master List, too, with projects that seemed to stay on it for ever and I used to feel like a failure. After some time, I acknowledged that they were not getting done for several reasons as they were not high priority items. I moved them to a "Someday Wish List" and I am content with that.

I totally agree with both EC and Bless! I think they hit the nail on the head in so far as suggestions. Also, the fact that you are home and have time to "wait" to do things can also be a factor in why you aren't getting things done.

Do you write down what you have completed this past year? Yesterday when I was cleaning out my desk drawer, I happened to run across my Master list, from last year, and know what? I crossed off the last things and tossed it out! IT WAS DONE!!!!!!!! I didn't remember doing them, but they were completed and I thought, hmmmmm should make up a new list for next year!

I am bad in getting the outside work done, hate it, and that is where I am lacking, but it isn't that bad looking, overrun or
cruddy, so what is the big deal...I cannot do the things I use to when I was younger.

When you are working, you don't think about doing things, you just do, you only have so many hours in the day, but when you are home I think you figure, oh, I'll get to it later.

Just don't be so hard on yourself, and look at all the donations etc, you have donated just these past few months! Look at the half full glass not the half empty! WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO and pat yourself on the back, you do deserve it.

I totally agree on the volunteering. It helps others and yourself, and the networking like Liz said! Who knows?

I agree with Elizabeth & Bless. Depression & anxiety can have an almost paralyzing affect. They are sometimes hard to detect in one's self.

For employment, have you thought about working with a temporary agency? Both of our DDs had their first jobs with temp agencies & were hired permanently after one of their assignments.

Diana also makes a good point about being able to put things off because you can do them later. I have been retired for three months & am still "feeling my way" through it. I have established some routines, but have postponed my deep cleaning projects until fall. I prefer to do it when I can have my windows open, & at 90 degress with high humidity, that's impossible for me. I have the utmost admiration for Bless & all her accomplishments with the heat she has in her home. I would be as limp as a dishrag.

I have been working on paperwork & getting my files in order instead. It has been very fulfilling to see them taking shape.

I hope you will see that you have accomplished much more than you think you have. I know that I have a tendency to look past the "have dones" & just see the "undones". Many of us are that way.

I have some of the same problem, only it's DH who's been out of work. I find it hard to start anything with him home (and, for the summer, DD as well). I haven't really given it much thought as to why, except I spend a lot of time anticipating their needs. For instance, I get up a good hour or so before he does but I can't really start much of anything because he expects me to cook his breakfast for him (my fault, I spoiled him). And then DD needs supervision or her hair braided or some other thing.

When I do have time to myself (like when he takes her fishing) I just want to veg out and not think. It's a horrible waste of time and opportunity, and it makes me really mad at myself.

I guess I really need to change my routine. I'm used to getting up around five or five-thirty, making breakfasts and packing lunches, sending him off to work (and her off to school during the school year), having an hour to drink my coffee and collect my thoughts before I start my day.

It's looking like DH will not be going back for 6-8 weeks, and DD won't start school for 6 weeks. I need to change my routine and fast, or I'll have lost the whole summer.

Amy, mine has been home awhile, too. It *is* hard to avoid the "I've got to keep them occupied and happy" vibe! I am not as successful as I'd like to be, I'm afraid.

With the morning routine, what about small changes? Go ahead and get up at your normal time, and start a project that wouldn't be loud in the household. You could switch up breakfast by prepping some easy items ahead, and having a "buffet" of options the other household members can grab from the fridge (fresh fruit, pre-baked savory bread pudding in cup-cake size that can be nuked, pre-cooked meat/shredded cheese to pair with tortillas and fresh-scrambled eggs, etc) so you're not losing an hour in prep/clean-up, but the family still has homemade breakfast each day.

I've had good success pulling DH into my projects, and now he's busy with his own, too. I could still do more... but we are enjoying the time together!

Everyone, thanks for your thoughts.

I had a physical recently, and the doctor said I was anemic. This has never happened before! I'm surprised the Red Cross didn't catch it, because I'm a regular donor, and they test the blood before they take it. So for now, no more blood donations until the anemia is fixed. I'll be taking iron pills, among other things. So that could account for my being tired sometimes, more than I would expect.

I don't think I am clinically depressed, though can ask the doctor about it; I'm mainly discouraged about the economy. Yes, I've looked into temping, and in the D.C. area, there are hundreds and thousands of people trying to do that. There are oodles of applicants for every job, especially in administrative-assistant work. It's not uncommon for several hundred people to apply for a single position. I'm going to look into part-time permanent, since part-time temping isn't going anywhere.

I've done some volunteer work at my church, and was recently elected Vice President-Education of my Toastmasters Club, which is turning out to be a lot of responsibility. The hours I've spent on that already are considerable.

I often do get up early, especially when I can't sleep (likely because of job concerns). I've read, done work on the computer, done a few things such as clean out part of a closet, prepared donations when I had one scheduled, or gone outside and worked in the yard. I don't really goof off. A couple of times I took naps in the afternoon, but haven't done that too much, because I'm trying to maintain a sort of regular sleep schedule. When I don't have a commitment and can sleep late (which might be 8 a.m.), I let myself do that, so I don't walk around in a daze.

I've been busier than I first thought (thanks for pointing that out). For a couple of months I was helping an older neighbor pack for his move to a retirement home, a couple of hours 2 or 3 days a week. (The sad news is that the deal fell through, so he will have to find another buyer. I'll still help him on moving day, but it won't be soon.) I've worked with DS a bit on his own jobhunting and developing certain skills. I've prepared and dropped off several donations.

Events take time. I went to my cousin's wedding this past Saturday, and to a funeral yesterday afternoon. I've visted MIL and a friend in the hospital a few times, and have another funeral to attend Monday. When you include getting ready, driving, driving home (including the traffic), it takes more hours than one might notice initially, even if they aren't super-productive.

Yes, the papers should mostly be kept; some I'll toss, but I need to look at them. The filing was put off because it seemed low-priority compared to other tasks (including moving money around, cashing in assets to stay afloat, which can be time-consuming).

I'm swimming at the pool almost every day, and a couple of weeks ago, swam a mile at one time. I hope to build up to more continuous laps before the season ends.

It's true I've put some things off. I never do much in the attic in the summer because of the intense heat (and this summer, although the outside is cooler than the attic, it's been around 95 or so almost every day, which limits projects such as reorganizing the shed or large-scale yard work). I've put off painting until it's cool enough to open the windows for good ventilation. I've put off some work on the car because it's in the shop being repaired.

I've definitely spent more time on the Forum, which I've enjoyed, and it's a real morale-builder for me. Some days I spend little or none, other days more. I'm trying with everything I do, from grocery shopping to laundry, to consider ways I can shorten the time I spend on them, because without deadlines, the tendency is to take more time. I don't work well under time pressure, but I can probably find ways to be a bit more efficient.

Even things that happened a while ago can affect the way things are now. During the blizzards in winter, I spent my days shoveling walkways, clearing off the car (over and over again), knocking snow off tree branches and phone wires, washing and drying winter clothes, improvising meals when we were snowbound, etc. DS helped, but it still was a big disruption of the routine, and even when we could drive later, it was slow going. Why does this matter 5 months later? Because if I hadn't had all that to do, I could have done some of the things on my lists.

The lists, by the way, are on the computer. Maybe I'll move some of the tasks to a "when I can get to it" or "someday" list. But as I do things, I delete them. Anything not done becomes part of the next day's list. Of course I don't list every single thing I have to do, or it would be dozens of lines. I list the essentials (doctor appointment, get donation ready), things scheduled(prepare recycling for pickup), calls to make, errands to run, other things (church, visiting, wedding ....) It gives me great satisfaction to cross things off (deleting on a computer) when they are done.

I think some of my feelings are a reaction to perceived chaos. For instance, while my car is in the shop, the things that were in it, especially the trunk, are in my living room, because I don't have anywhere else to put them. This creates an atmosphere of clutter and lack of control. They're in boxes, but it still looks cramped and rather messy. But in another week or so, they will be gone. I'm learning to let some things "roll off me" despite my discontent with them.

I'll be grateful for any other comments anyone cares to make. Maybe I have done more than I thought I did.

Simplicity
That is what I was talking about. You aren't giving yourself enough credit for all that you have done. Lighten up and smell the roses too! I think we get overwhelmed thinking of all that NEEDS to be done, and that stops us. Just do what you can and enjoy parts of the day too! All work and no play is no fun at all.

Simplicity, you get far more done that you give yourself credit. The economy is a huge mess that has sadly impacted you in a horrid way you could not have possibly anticipated. Great ideas already offered.

Would you consider copy/paste completed work into a DONE file rather than DELETE. I even give myself credit by highlighting my written list for items that were returned or did not need my attention as someone else did it! Completed pages go to the back of the 3 ring binder, even if a few items are brought forward to a new page. Anything that has a financial component has some kind of green jiggle in the margin so I don't beat myself up unnecessarily.