Alas, I am finally caught by the beast: I received a letter telling me to bring an original paper before end of year and I clearly remember bringing this important document in August 2008 and putting it negligently aside within the corresponding folder, in the ever growing pile of "to file" stuff...

This pile has been added to other piles, and each time I had something to shuffle through was rummaged, moved, and mixed up more and more, with the guilt that I was not doing anything.

I haven't done anything but mess it more and more. I went through all the piles like a maniac, and could not spot the file, buried in trashy piles of papers, important and unimportant alike.

I am overwhelmed with nausea, and feeling awful about myself, I knew this was going to happen one day.

Hadassah,
First of all, it's good to have you back with us.

Secondly, BREATHE! Nice deep breaths and let the calm settle in.

Okay, the paper has to be there by the end of the year so you have 37 days. Be happy it's not the end of the week or the end of this month.

Here's the way I would approach it. You mention lots of unimportant trash papers. I would get a large garbage bag and as quickly as you can without tossing anything important, toss all of the junk stuff you can. Be brutal, anything you don't REALLY need or will need, get rid of! This will help to lessen the piles.

Now, do a quick sort. Don't sit and read the papers, don't do anything with anything that isn't what you're looking for. When you come across a paper that looks like it is important, set aside to put in a safe place for later.

Do you have any empty file folders by chance? What I would do is rather than dealing with any of your current papers, just sort them into categories TO BE FILED LATER! Yes, this violates the only touch something once rule but in this case, I'd make an exception. At least this way you can sort through stuff quickly and hopefully find the documents while still making preliminary piles to file later.

Think big sort, not little.

Make a pile for HOUSE, one for KIDS, one for MEDICAL, etc. Don't get too detailed, you can do that later!

TOSS ANYTHING YOU DON'T NEED!

Hope this helps, please keep us posted and we'll be here to support you. Oh! I wish I could come help you!

*** One other thing. Be sure to go through things methodically so that you won't do a pile twice. Know which ones you've done. This is where a method such as left to right might come in handy.

I second ChefSam... sit down and do the weeding out of the unimportant stuff as you look for the paper. It will be more efficient and effective long-term than a frantic search, and watching the pile get so much smaller is really satisfying!

I sometimes let my mail/bills pile up until it's really intimidating. Once I just sit down for 15 minute segments, and keep only the important stuff, the pile is TINY, comparatively, and I feel a lot better. (I did this this afternoon, and took a 6" stack of STUFF down to FIVE pieces of paper. The rest was all junk. Junk that was stressing me out. I could have saved myself a lot of emotional wear and tear by doing this three weeks ago!!!)

Hadassah, You can do this! Like the others said, go through the papers, sort into piles by broad categories, and TOSS THE JUNK!

If the pile of papers is too overwhelming, take one stack of about an inch of papers and sort them for 15 mins. Then, take another 1 inch stack and sort them for 15 mins. Do this in baby steps until you have all the papers sorted. You should end up with at least 50% in the garbage bag to toss.

If you recall receiving the piece of paper in August, it must be there, somewhere. Just take a deep breath and start on those papers. ((((((HUGS))))))))

Hadassah,

I second the suggestions of the others. You can and will do this. I think we have each had something like this happen to us when we said, 'this is enough' and started our decluttering / organizing journey. There is nothing 'wrong' with you. Please don't feel awful about yourself. We have each been in your shoes. Believe me.

Also, don't think there is a magic moment when you are suddenly organized. Yes, I'm light years ahead of where I used to be but about 2 months ago, I couldn't find some paperwork for my cell phone rebates which would have cost me $100. I ended up finding it but just barely before the deadline. I was FURIOUS with myself and it reaffirmed my commitment to staying on top of things.

Thank you so much ChefSam! You see, I am so desperate for moral support that I came back pretty early in hope that someone would have posted anything, even scolding would have done it! :-)

I am actually trying to not panic, but I have to admit I have already gone through all the piles I could think of, skipping the methodic part, in hope that it would miraculously show up (I thought it was in a bunch that I thought I recalled had prepared like a "prefiling" bunch, but nothing showed up, of course, I guess this is my wake-up call, I probably passed it without seeing it in the sea of papers of all sorts).

I have already violated the touch-something-once-rule so much that I must already be living in paper-hell, so I guess I can stand being a multiple offender there.

My bed is covered with the latest (the most recent) stuff that was on my desk, and some of it is "to do" stuff, but I have so many files that were called "to do" and that never got done. Now I am afraid that in order to go to sleep I will pile the stuff back as I have been doing for the last three years. Oh my. I am not yet back to my normal rational thinking here. If I try to describe what I am trying to think and do, I go back in the stupid panick mode.

I have discarded some papers already, not so much to call it a lot, considering that my entire day revolved around it, but I sat and got distracted (in order to regain sanity, I do other things, not very productive though, but relaxing, let's call it procrastination).

I so agree with you Elizabeth, the piles are impressive only because of the junk that is filling them in.

What also kills me is that everything is mixed up, like I take a dozen papers, but then I bump into a plastic bag containing things that I have apparently sorted in it, like letter or I don't know what. Some are in the envelopes. Some envelopes are empty. Yes, you read me well, the piles even contain empty envelopes! what is it with me that this does not go in the garbage right away? and if it didn't go right away, why on earth are they still there even after so many times been shuffled around?

Okey, I need to stop self-beating up, this is not productive, and I am not tossing. It is 7:15, I will do a fifteen minutes tossing and then think about where to clear up my bed.

This is a nightmare. But I prepared it myself.

I hopee to be able to be back with a happier report, and not just the display of my panicks.

Thank you for your kind support.

Please remember that beating yourself up won't change the outcome of this situation which is the only one that matters right now. Let yourself off the hook! It's okay, we've all been there and trust me, some of us will be there again. Ask Striving about the important paper she lost last year! :-)

Do your 15 minutes and then make yourself room to sleep. You need a good night's sleep and some relaxation. Hot bath maybe? Good book? Glass of wine?

Yes, I believe the empty envelopes are there because I'm sure I might have some too! Those are a great thing to go in the toss pile.

Good luck and PLEASE keep me posted. I've been checking back all afternoon to see if you wrote again. You're in my thoughts.

Keep posting, Hadassah! Update as often as you need. We'll cheer you on!

First thing: You have Official GON Forum Member Permission to NOT beat yourself up about this. It's a frustrating challenge, but that's all it is. You are worth a LOT more than the frustrating challenge.

I end up with empty envelopes, too. You're definitely NOT alone in any of this.

You do meditation and faith-based thinking, if I remember rightly? Take one minute before each sorting session and try to let go of some of the frustration. You'll be able to work more effectively without that emotion piled in. Just breathe! If you do follow a faith tradition, asking for divine help is not out of order. Even for those who do not follow a faith tradition, sending out a thought or two for clarity and peace can't hurt!

Hang in there. I'll keep you in my thoughts tonight!

Hi Hadassah, happy to see you on-line. You've chosen a great place for support, we're all cheering for you in your quest to locate the temporarily missing paper. I too an part of the sisterhood who loses important documents.

Take a break and walk through your home checking for stray papers in drawers or shelves or bags/handbag/briefcase just in case there is an errant August pile eleswhere.

Working with a timer in 15 minute segments is your route to success. Wishing you well...