My problem is that I am seriously and helplessly messy. Since I was kid, I remember cleaning one room for hours and getting rid of a minimum 5 bags of garbage. After all that cleaning and getting rid of clothes and stuff, my mom would walk in, yell at me at how I didn't clean and yada yada. The sad part is that I have gotten worse.
I'm an adult now but I feel *discouraged* that I haven't been able to learn how to clean or how to organize. Instead of me spending hours of cleaning my bedroom, I spend days. The problem is that, if you were to see it, you would swear that I had never cleaned it or thrown away a single item ever. I know how to wash dishes, clean a bathroom, but everything else is just a disaster. There are some days that I don't even want to go into my bedroom. I've had so many people (coworkers and classmates) comment about my disorganization, clutter, junk, and mess that I just realized within the past month that I need to do something. You know the proverbial cat lady with 60 cats. Her house is trashed and the community wants to condemn it. Well that is me minus the animals. I don't have a house but a room. I don't have pets. When it comes to organization, I don't think that I am on the bottom rung of the ladder. I don't remember seeing a ladder. My screen name is black hole because I feel that anything that comes in contact with me will wind up in a black hole.
My point is that I am so far gone with even simple organization that reading a book isn't going to help.
I honestly need to enroll in a class that teaches organization and how to clean. The problem is that I have been looking everywhere for some type of class program that will teach me. I know they have seminars for 2 hours here or 3 hours there but I am so far gone, a seminar won't do anything for me. Seminars are for people who are doing okay and just want to fine tune some things. I really don't want to waste my money on a motivational speaker to make me feel happy for those 2 or 3 hours because when I go home.... exactly. I literally need baby steps. Something concrete.
The problem is that I have been looking online and asking coworkers for schools, adult centers, any place that would have a class that would help me and I can't find anything. Just like I would take a class at the local community college for 9 weeks for English 1 or Basic Spanish, I need a class like that for organization. Anyone have any ideas of where? What keywords should I try. I've tried organization which only pulls up managerial organization. I've tried cleaning, mess, personal development, personal growth, personal enrichment, organizing.
I've looked at the catalogs for community colleges and adult learning centers but nothing except for a seminar.
The thing is that even though, I am a black hole, I have always been a straight A student. If I were in a class twice a week or once a week and it was taught to me then I would understand it and see where I am going wrong.
I hear so many comments like how can you work like that and clean your area even after I have cleaned it. I am at the point now where it is like what's the point in trying so hard and for so long. The sad part is that when I go to work, everyone starts with a clean slate. Within 5 minutes, it looks like a suicide bomber went off in my area.
I don't understand how I can get rid of 6-8 bags of stuff\donations and the mountain doesn't move. I am not a shopaholic. I can't afford one of those personal consultants. I think even if I did have one of them, they would take off running. I just graduated from school in a field that requires organization and am considering enrolling in another program that requires lots of organization. I want to get this beast under control.
Please, please, if anyone knows of any long term class or if there are some keywords that I am not using, please let me know. I am desperate for help. If I get a second job then I might be able to get a new apartment where I can start over fresh and then just hire a housekeeper but until then HELP!

We are here to help you. Please remember that this mess did not appear overnight, and it won't go away in a couple of days. Baby steps are your key.

Right now I want you to start two habits: ETE and baby steps.

ETE is erase the evidence. When you finish something, you put everything away. For example, after you make a sandwich, you put the fixings away and wipe the counter; after you do a load of laundry, fold and put away the clothes. This helps things to not get worse.

Baby steps are no longer than 15 minutes. Work for 15 minutes on decluttering, cleaning, or organizing and then take at least 15 minutes as a break to reward yourself for your work. When your break is over you can do another 15 minutes, or quit for the day. Remember to reward yoruself.

Also, when you get to the organizing point (after decluttering) try and think vertical. If you are in a small space, maybe the only way to add storage is to install shelves and use your wall space.

We are here for you. Please take breaks to reward yourself, and don't get discouraged. You can do this, but it will take time.

First off, welcome! I have a feeling the other ladies will all be welcoming you here shortly.

As I read your post, one thing came to mind immediately. Are you trying to get organized because of what others are saying? It sounds to me as if you have the "basics" in terms of purging stuff and donating. Before you go to such an extreme as moving or joining a class, I think you should decide why you want to do it.

I'm really not sure if there is a long term class in organization. It seems that there are personal aspects to organizing, and it would be hard to teach a "right" way, when everyone needs to personalize it to them and their situation.

Black Hole: Welcome to GON! We are so glad you joined us. We can help you to get decluttered and organized, but, as Valerie warned you, it won't happen overnight. However, we have a few tools to help you get organized.

But, before I get go into the details of the tools we use, here's a link to one of the e-courses that is available through this site:

http://www.getorganizednow.com/ecourse.html

You can find this on the home page, as well. Go to the home page and click on e-courses to access it directly.

Here are some of the tools that we use to help us with getting organized:

The Master List:

This is a list of ALL the projects you want to do around your room. This will be a LONG list, but don't let it overwhelm you. You don't have to tackle each and every project at once.

Take a pad of paper and a pen and go around your room. Write down everything that needs to be done. Be specific. This will also be a sort of "wish list" as well. Put your list in a binder for reference.

As you accomplish an item on your list, don't cross it off. Highlight it, instead, and keep the list in the binder. They will become your accomplishment lists. Anytime you feel like you haven't accomplished much, you can look in your binder and see just how much you have done!

Baby Steps/15 minutes:

The next thing to learn is Baby Steps - you don't have to organize the entire room in one go. You can do one area of the room, you can organize one closet or one piece of furniture. You don't even have to do one bookcase or cabinet, either. You can do one shelf or one drawer. Break your bigger projects down to individual, baby steps. Instead of writing "organize dresser", you can write "declutter and tidy drawer #1, declutter and tidy drawer #2, dust the surface, polish the mirror" and highlight each step as you accomplish it.

We also work in 15 min. sessions. Set the timer for 15 min. and work on your project. When the timer goes off stop and REWARD yourself. Have a cup of coffee, look through a magazine, do a craft or something else you enjoy. Then you can set the timer again for another 15 min. or quit for the day. Your choice.

Declutter:

It cannot be stated often enough - one can't organize clutter. So, before you try to organize anything, try to declutter as much as you can. Get rid of the obvious trash and junk, the duplicates and other extraneous stuff that is taking up space. Keep only what you love, is useful, makes you happy each time you see it.

If there are any items that you want to keep which needs some repairs done first, add them to your Master List and incorporate them into your daily to-do lists.

If there is something you think might be useful, then, box it up or put it aside to reconsider in 6 months' or 1 years' time. If you haven't used it in 1 year, ask yourself why you are still keeping it.

When I first started to declutter, I made it my goal in life to get rid of at least 10 items a day. I could get rid of more, but the minimum had to be 10. At the rate of 10 items a day, that's 300 items a month!

ETE/PUPA:

ETE stands for Eliminate The Evidence. That just means to clean up after ourselves as we go. If you make a sandwich, for example, put away the fixings and wipe down the counter - don't leave the evidence of your sandwich making out!

PUPA stands for Pick Up and Put Away - sometimes, certain things end up on horizontal surfaces, for various reasons - perhaps someone didn't ETE or it wasn't practical to ETE until a project was completed, etc. So, periodically, we do a PUPA to return items to their homes, especially after we complete a project or before we clean up a room.

ETE and PUPA help you keep the rest of the house under control while you focus on one project from your Master List at a time.

Today, spend 15 mins. and see if you can toss 10 items. Then, reward yourself with 15 mins. of computer time and come and post here and tell us what you did. We will cheer you on - we even have our own GON cheer: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO! And, when someone has completed some project, we all join hands and do our Happy Dance in celebration!

We will look forward to hearing from you, again. You can conquer clutter and get organized. We will help you, each step of the way.

Again, welcome!

Hi Black!

YOU CAN CHANGE THIS.

It sounds as though perhaps no one (parents) ever taught you or mentored you in the skills you need to develop and maintain the tidy habits you want.

The good news is: that's okay. You're obviously a smart person, and you can learn anything you want to learn. It sounds like you're at a "hit the bottom" point with the chaos in your home life, and you're ready to learn a different set of habits. COOL!

It does sound like perhaps you own too much stuff. Too much of anything is a burden. I would absolutely encourage you to make regular "weeding out" part of your daily routine, just like brushing your teeth or bathing.

Sit down and breathe for a minute. Think about what your life would FEEL like, if:

* You have a wardrobe sufficient to your needs, that all fits in the storage space you currently have, without fighting or shoving or cramming.

* You have a linen shelf comfortably filled with big, fluffy towels in your favorite colors.

* You have a bed with absolutely delicious bed linens, and a spare set in the closet.

* You have a set of dusted bookshelves filled (but not crammed) with favorite volumes, cheek by cheek like good friends dancing.

* A crisp breeze blows through the tidy, bright room, carrying a soft scent of your favorite flowers.

Sounds like a dream?

It's a dream YOU CAN MAKE HAPPEN. I promise!! It's going to be a steady process of learning new habits to get there, but it's entirely possible and do-able.

Think about it the way a sculptor makes a great statue. They start with this huge chunk of rock... and then slowly chip away everything that isn't the statue.

Same for you--you've got a big hunk of STUFF right now. You can choose to slowly chip away at everything that isn't "My Comfortable Home".

I like to think of it as "shopping in my own stuff." I am perfectly free to look at my own things, and decide what, if anything, I am willing to keep. At one point, I had my linen closet just jammed full of towels. I found them very depressing. Most were tatty, they weren't white anymore--just old and sad and miserable, and crammed in there.

So, I "went shopping" in my own stuff. I decided that, since I do laundry about twice a week, I really *had* to keep one towel per person, so I selected the best of the miserable lot, and recycled *everything* else. Immediate results: the shelves were no longer jammed full. That felt better!

Now, I knew my budget would not tolerate replacing everything at once. But, I could come up with $5 a month to buy ONE new bath towel, or two face cloths, etc. And with each new one I added, I tossed the old junky one.

Within a year, I had a full, generous set of GORGEOUS new, white, huge towels, plenty of face cloths and hand-towels. Everything fit in the closet space without a fuss. I LIKED putting towels away. I had entirely weeded out and upgraded that aspect of my life, on $5 a month for one year. Not too shabby!

That same process works for just about any material posession. You can weed out what you are currently burdened with, keep the bare minimum of it, and slowly, within your budget, upgrade to what you REALLY want.

I can't go out and spend $150 on a new set of sheets for our bed. But I CAN set aside $5 a month, then hit the seasonal clearance sales at a high-end bedding shop and pick up something great for very little money, once every few years.

This is getting long... but I hope you'll be encouraged a bit. Print out Bless's post, and make ETA and PUPA your new keywords. Learning to Just Do This, instead of procrastinating putting things away, made a bit difference for me.

It does sound like a few longer sessions of "weed it out, clear it out" might be very encouraging for you. What would happen if you packed a few boxes (as in, six or less, plus a suitcase) of your absolute MUST KEEP, LOVE THESE THINGS, NEED THESE THINGS, and then cleared out Everything Else?

If there was an emergency evacuation, and you could only bring the stuff in those boxes, what would you save?

Welcome, Black

You have taken a giant step by admitting you are not happy with the status quo & want to change.

Bless & Elizabeth have given you some wonderful advice.

Please keep us posted on the progress that I know you will make because we love to cheer.

Welcome to the forum and GON Black.

I am glad to see that many others have joined in to welcome you but also to provide some useful advice.

I just want to tell you that you can do it but dont expect miracles to happen overnight. It takes time.

WTG!

Hi Black:

WELCOME TO GON! I'm so happy to meet you.
I agree with Elizabeth. Print out Bless's post, and make ETA and PUPA your new keywords.

I would copy Elizabeth's post too. She is amazing with her insight.
If you are having any trouble deciding what to keep and what to throw away, you know letting go, I am going to give you some things to think about. Sometimes you just need to see it from a different point of view.

Is it the item that you love or is it the memory that goes with it. If it is the item then keep it. If it is the memory, what if you took a picture of the object and put it in a special Memory Album. Then you could throw out the object that is steeling your space but you will have the "Special Memory Album" to jog those special memories that are so dear to you.

I have had a few garage sales. We have a community one every year that ends up with 3 miles of garage sale. I found it a waste of time. I, personally would rather donate and be done with it.

If the item makes you sad (reminds you of sadder times in your life) get rid of it. You don't need something that will bring you down.

If the item makes you feel guilty (eg. you paid too much for it. etc) get rid of it. Why keep something that keeps beating you over the head. Once the item is gone so is the guilt.

If it is something you might need some day, think of what it is doing today. It is stealing space and piece of mind that you need now, for something you may never need.

If you get rid of the item and then find you need it, how much will it cost to replace it. If it is something that can be replaced at the dollar store, why are you hanging on to it?

This is just a little food for thought. I hope it helps you to see what is really important to you and your piece of mind.

I hope this helps.
Please keep posting on how you are doing so we can keep helping you.
I'm so glad you have joined us.
Again a big warm cozy Welcome.

You have gotten allot of good advice and may be we might have over-whelmed you....because we want YOU to be able to conquer this area of discouragement.

"Take what you like, and leave the rest."....is good here. There is NOT ONE right way to do this de-cluttering business....Except to just START!

I find....that if I have a buddy...when things have gotten awful...a buddy will keep me moving and on track. My friends and I will do one house/room and then we will help at the other's house or room the next week, or whenever we have 2-3 hours to link together.

Lastly: Start with the easiest declutter first, and break it into baby steps...If you are able to experience the success! and joy of one step in the right direction....It will keep you motivated.

So I suggest: sit down with pen and paper, or on computer and list your easiest declutter area or small room. Put the project name at the top.

Along the left side: put the small steps that will bring you success in that area. Then on the right: list any tools that either you have to get out of garage or cleaning closet OR you need to buy.

After you do that: do 1-3 little steps that you listed on that page. if you need to buy tools: make a list, and put on your calendar when you will buy them. Save the shopping for your low energy time, and use your high energy time of day: to work on the baby steps!

PS: I do not know of a class: BUT, if you chose an area you want to work on (home, office, etc.) and find that main topic on the forum list. Then start your own post, putting something like: "I need your help" in the subject line....You will get many wonderful, caring, understanding ladies to keep encouraging you!!! You will NOT be disappointed!

Welcome, Black Hole! Do not get discouraged. You can get organized with time!

The thing that screamed out to me in your post was this quote:
"After all that cleaning and getting rid of clothes and stuff, my mom would walk in, yell at me at how I didn't clean and yada yada."

Things are probably not as bad as you think they are, but in the past no matter how much you purged or organized, it was never good enough, so that will affect your ability to be organized now. The trick is to just start somewhere - one box, one drawer - and take it in baby steps, as others have mentioned.

Have you considered hiring a professional organizer to help you get started and on the right track? I wonder if, for you, that might be more effective than a one-session class?

I wish you the best!