What do you do when your child's room is a big mess? Do you nag her to clean it up? Do you clean it up for him? This week's video focuses on what I did this week with my own daughter and her room.

Hint: I was very careful NOT to do something, lest I'd be sending her the wrong message.

http://www.getorganizednow.com/gon-videos.html

For your convenience, if you've missed any of our past videos, you can find those here:

http://www.getorganizednow.com/gon-videos-all.html

IMPORTANT: In case you procrastinated on taking advantage of our $100 complimentary bonus offer last week, we've extended our offer for one more week. Here are the details...

One of the most important factors that prevents us from getting everything we want in life is procrastination.

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* The 9 Personality Types eBook: Find Out the Different Personality Types and How to Deal with Each

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I recently posed a question to my Facebook fans about their volunteer efforts. The question was, 'Do you volunteer for your child's school, for your town, for your church, or for something else?' I also asked what type of volunteer work they did, and how much time they gave each month.

The question generated significant interest. Just a few responses on the type of volunteering that came in included volunteering for...a youth football and cheerleading league, a brain injury support group, field studies with middle school children, the girl scouts, the church nursery, helping people who are undergoing chemotherapy, and the school band.

I volunteer regularly for my daughter's school, for our church, for community projects, and more. In my mind, there's great joy in serving others without expecting anything in return.

That being said, if I said YES to every volunteer opportunity or request for my time that came my way, I wouldn't have a moment of time for myself or my family. Thus, there is a great benefit to saying no sometimes, and I practice doing so when the need arises to protect my time and to ensure I'm living a balanced, stress-free life.

My article this week focuses on saying no. I hope it helps you focus your YES's on those things you truly want to do, and helps you say NO to the rest.

Everything below can be accessed on our home page:

http://www.getorganizednow.com

Note: Each 'box' on our web site is numbered. 'Box Numbers' next to each update below, correspond with the numbered boxes on my web site so you can easily find what you're looking for!

** NEW Organizing Video: Want your child to be organized? Don't send the wrong message. Visit:
http://www.getorganizednow.com/gon-videos.html

** NEW Blog Post: Hair Shortcuts: Taking care of hair can definitely take some time in your day. Here are a few shortcuts I use to minimize time invested with my hair. (Box 4)

** NEW Clutter Quotation: These are famous words of wisdom spoken by Wendell Berry in a Farming handbook. You'll love it! (Box 11)

** NEW Recipe: Buttermilk and Blue Cheese Potato Salad. All I can say is...yum! (Box 24)

** NEW Organizing Challenge of the Month: Make My Day! Tell and/or show me how Get Organized Now! has changed your life for the better, and you could be one of 5 Lucky Winners! Last chance to do so is May 31st. (Box 2)

* Can you watch Janie while I run some errands?

* I need to leave work early today. Can you cover for me?

* You did such a nice job with the pancake supper. Can you chair the spring carnival committee?

* Mom, I need you to make a costume for the school play. It's tomorrow.

Do any of these requests sound familiar? Most of us are asked to do things we don't want to do from time to time. It's a normal part of being in a family or other group situation. However, some of us are repeatedly asked to do things for others, in part because we never say `no'.

Those requests add to your daily stress level.

* * * * * * *

1) Saying YES.

Sometimes the requests our family, friends, neighbors, and others make are reasonable and we want to say `yes'. But sometimes people ask us to do things we don't want to do, don't have time to do, and resent being asked to do. If you usually or always say `yes' when asked, others expect us to always say `yes'. It feels good to be needed. But it doesn't feel good to feel used.

* * * * * * *

2) Wanting to say NO.

So, how do we learn to say `no' when we want to? First, you have to have a plan. Saying `yes' and then regretting it gets very stale after awhile.

* * * * * * *

3) Analyzing those requests.

First, review the situations in which you're asked to do a favor for someone. Is there a pattern? Does your neighbor always ask you to watch her kids and never offers to watch yours? Are you always asked at the last minute to bake something for school? Does your husband always ask you to run errands on your lunch hour? Do your kids always wait until the last minute to tell you what they need for school? Does your co-worker always ask you to cover for her and never offer to cover for you?

* * * * * * *

4) Deciding when to say NO.

Before you learn to say `no,' you need to know the difference between situations when you really want to say `yes' and those when you should say `no'. Which requests do you want to say `yes' to? Which do you want to say `no' to? Which do you want to change?

* * * * * * *

5) Developing your script.

Your script could be as simple as:

* 'Let me check my schedule, and I'll get back to you.' This response buys you time to determine if you want to say `yes' OR how to politely turn the request down.

Other possible responses include:

* 'Sorry, I can't.'

* 'I'd like to help you out, but it isn't convenient for me with my schedule.'

* 'My errand days are Tuesday and Thursday. Please plan ahead and give me your lists for those two days.' (This response might work with your spouse or partner or kids.)

* 'I think it's your turn to (you fill in the blank)...' (e.g. watch my kids, do that task for school, cover for me, etc.)

* Sorry, honey. I've already made plans for that time since I didn't know you had soccer practice. You'll have to find another way to get there, or you'll have to call your coach and tell her you can't make it. Please give me your future practice schedule as soon as you get it next time, so I can make the necessary arrangements to my schedule to get you there.

* * * * * * *

6) Practicing your NO.

Your weak 'No' can be developed just like any of your muscles--by practice. The more you practice, the better you get. It's not unlike practicing to run a marathon. You don't start your first day by running ten miles. You start slow with a short, easy course. You practice. You visualize yourself running that marathon and reaching the end.

It's the same with saying `no'. You start out with saying `no' in an easy situation. You visualize yourself saying `no'. And then you practice--a lot. This is when you get to talk to yourself--perhaps in front of a mirror.

* * * * * * *

7) Getting to NO.

It isn't easy to change patterns and routines. It's difficult to change others' expectations of you. It's even more difficult to change your own perceptions of yourself and your relationships with others. However, if you take a few simple steps, you might find that you feel less stress.

Review the situations when people make requests of you and you find yourself resenting it. Decide which requests you don't want to agree to. Develop your script of how you're going to respond, then practice, practice, practice!

* * * * * * *

Do you love our newsletter? Do you have suggestions to make it better? Are there other topics you'd like to see us cover? Or do you just want to say Hello? We'd love to hear from you.

Although we cannot respond to each individual message, we do take your comments to heart and consider and appreciate each one.

Just send an email to:

getorgnow@charter.net

And it comes from saying 'no' to 1,000 things to make sure we don't get on the wrong track or try to do too much. We're always thinking about new markets we could enter, but it's only by saying 'no' that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.
--Steve Jobs


And remember . . . there's no better time
to get organized, than to Get Organized Now!

Warmly,

Maria Gracia
Get Organized Now!
http://www.getorganizednow.com

(c) Copyright 2012 by Maria Gracia, Get Organized Now!

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